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Three Steps to Organized Fertility Treatments

Three Steps to Organized Fertility Treatments

by | Oct 5, 2019 | Counseling, Infertility, PRINTABLE, Therapy

fertility treatments are so time sensitive

What to do to manage the stress of such a strict schedule

Fertility treatments are often time-sensitive and grow increasingly frequent as you reach certain points in your treatment cycle.

You already have waves of emotional overload and self-criticism (maybe even added tension with your partner) sloshing around in your head, and now the doctor expects you to be able to keep all of these needles and mixing meds straight?!?

You’re not sure if it’s the hormones or the fears, but you are having more and more of a hard time holding it all together

Why am I so overwhelmed? I’m usually so organized.

You pride yourself in being put-together and organized, so this out-of-control feeling is really uncomfortable.

Plus, so much of your energy is going toward just holding it together long enough to get through the next work meeting without feeling like you’re about to lose your sh*t.

The last thing you need taking up space in your brain is a long list of to-dos, meds, appointments, and a laundry list of questions

Print this inforgraphic for tips

Download and print out these three easy steps to help you stay organized with fertility treatment so you can feel free to focus on the hope and joy that comes with growing your family

Click Here to Download Printable

find a therapist for infertility

The following therapists at The Joy Effect offer counseling support during infertility.  Click on each name to read more about the therapist.

Carolyn Robistow | Carla Litzsey

 

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11 Ways to Say No Without Sounding Mean

11 Ways to Say No Without Sounding Mean

by | Oct 4, 2019 | Anxiety, Counseling, PRINTABLE

why is saying no so hard?

Some days it takes all the confidence and energy you can muster just to tell someone “no.” 
Maybe you feel guilty becuase you don’t have a legit excuse, so technically you could do whatever they’re asking of you.
Or maybe you don’t want to make the other person feel bad or alone.
So, what happens?
You end up agreeing to more than you have the time, energy, or desire to accomplish. 
And that means you have no time, energy, or desire left to do the things you actually did want or need to do for yourself.

what happens when you say yes out of guilt?

When it’s time to actually follow through on whatever you’ve “yessed” your way into, the anxiety starts to build. 
Ugh, I don’t want to do this.
I’d so much rather be dealing with my own to-do list today.
This is going to make me rush to get to the next thing.

why don’t people listen to my “no”?

Even the times you do say no and try to have healthy boundaries, you still feel pressured to cave in and help out anyway.
You end up frustrated, maybe even saying yes when you know you really don’t mean it.
Basically, you just want to avoid the conflict.

11 ways to say no 

Dowload this free PDF to print and put somewhere you’ll see it.  
Practice using the phrases until they feel comfortable.
Then, try out your newfound superpower of healthy boundaries out in the real world.
Download as Printable PDF

find a therapist who helps with boundaries

The following therapists can help you grow more comfortable with holding healthy boundaries (and not feeling mean about it). Click on each therapist’s name to read more about schedules, rates, and other specialty areas.

Carolyn Robistow

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How to Choose a Counselor

How to Choose a Counselor

by | Sep 29, 2019 | Anxiety, Counseling, Therapy

a quick story about trust

If you’ve ever been scuba diving, you know that before they let you loose in the open sea with only a tank of air and underwater camera, you have to prove you’re somewhat capable of breathing underwater in a mock-scuba environment… like a swimming pool.
 
Well there I was, listening to a guy who was maybe 21 and clearly spent half his days surfing and the other half teaching tourists how to not panic and swim straight to the surface (which is a no-no in scuba diving).
 
This guy was ah-mazing. He pretty much beat me to the punch on every worry I had. He said things like, “If THIS happens, then you do this hand signal, and I will fix the problem.” And he said it repeatedly. I felt soooo much better.
Then I totally aced the pool-diving part. 

i’m with you so far…then what?

A few hours later (we were scheduled for the afternoon dive), we arrive at the boat. Scuba Coach Guy is walking off and explains that our dive guide will be there shortly.
 
Say what?
 
Enter stage left, the coolest and most fit woman I’ve ever seen in real life. Gorgeous accent and all.
 
She was so full of energy and pumped about us getting into our suits and into the water and down to the sea floor and getting all the photos and having the BEST scuba experience ever.
 
I was so overwhelmed I’m still surprised I didn’t puke right there in front of her.
 
Long story short(er), with maybe one inch of water above my head, I was giving the “I need to go to the surface” hand signal ….. (side note: yes, I totally could have safely popped my head right up to the life-giving oxygen an inch above… but Scuba Coach Guy had assured me that the hand signals were uber important! #rulefollower)
 
She tried to run me through all the “try and pop your ears to relieve the pressure” signals, but there was no changing my mind.
 
I was scared.
 
I wanted out.
 

so what went wrong?

Surfer Coach Guy had repeatedly assured me he understood the things that scared me. He told me over and over again that he had a plan to get me through anything the ocean might throw my way.
 
I trusted him. I felt connected. I felt like he got me (in an I know this is new and intimidating for you but I promise I’m looking out for your best interest kinda way)
 
This girl? Nope.
No way was I trusting her with looking out for me or making sure I felt comfortable. She was clearly more interested in convincing us to pay the extra fee for the underwater pics she was going to take for us.
 
I spent the excursion sitting on the boat with the captain and my friend who had also called it quits at the last second.
 

I assume there’s a connection to therapy in this story?

Trust. 
Feeling like someone “gets” you. If you’re sitting across from the world’s most renowned specialist in treating xyz, and all you can think is but can I trust you with the actual truth of my deepest and darkest?, then you’ll likely end up stuck.
The importance of a good connection can accidentally be overlooked when you first reach out. 
That means it can also be easy to spend unneccessary amounts of money on a therapist who came highly recommeded, but wasn’t really a good fit for you.
When you begin the search for a counselor, I encourage you to consider the importance of finding someone who helps you feel heard.
 
It’s tempting to jump online, find someone close by who takes your insurance, and book the first available appointment.
I’m not knocking that strategy.
I’m saying it can be easy to go that route and spend money on months of therapy, only to realize you don’t feel like your counselor really gets you.
 

what do I need to do to find the right counselor?

Whether you’re going the insurance route or the private pay route (paying out of pocket without going through insurance), I encourage you to do a few things before you make the decision to choose a particular counselor:
  • Check out the websites of your prospective counselors…look for information on any specialty areas, read the “about me” pages, browse any blog posts… all of these will give you a better picture of who this counselor is and who she (or he) serves best.
  • Ask if there’s a free phone consultation. A phone call is an opportunity to speak to him or her and see how comfortable you feel. Ask any questions about charges, scheduling, hours of availability, familiarity with your concerns, etc.
  • Remember that as tempting as it is to price shop, your goal is healing, and going with the cheapest option can’t guarantee a healing relationship (that being said, it doesn’t rule it out, either…which is why these points are key!).
  • If you’re seeking services for your child, inquire about communication and updates between the counselor and you, the parent. It can feel mysterious to send your child back to the office while you wait in the lobby, then leave without any idea as to how things are going. Different counselors handle it different ways.
  • If you’re comfortable sharing any details with friends, ask around for referrals…but keep in mind that just because your friend LOVED her experience with a certain therapist doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the right one for you.
The decision to enter into therapy often comes at a time when you are feeling overwhelmed and out of ideas. It can be tempting to jump into a therapeutic relationship with the most convenient or cheapest therapist.
 
Sometimes, you get lucky, and it’s a perfect match! But don’t be afraid to advocate for what helps you to feel comfortable.
 
You’re going to be sharing some of your most vulnerable self with your therapist. Trust and feeling like she gets you are key to healing.
 
If you’re unsure whether a certain therapist is right for you, it’s okay to give it a few sessions to see… sometimes it takes time to develop that trusting relationship. And if you’ve done your homework (see above bullet points), then it might be worth allowing yourself the time to grow comfortable.
 
In therapy, it’s never wrong to give the “I need to go to the surface” hand signal and look for someone who totally gets you.
 
After all, this is your life… not the scuba guide’s.

find a therapist

At The Joy Effect, we have multiple therapists available to help with a variety of concerns.

You can read about each individual therapist below, or scroll farther to look for help with your specific concern.

Carolyn Robistow | Carla Litzsey

 

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