why is saying no so hard?

Some days it takes all the confidence and energy you can muster just to tell someone “no.” 
Maybe you feel guilty becuase you don’t have a legit excuse, so technically you could do whatever they’re asking of you.
Or maybe you don’t want to make the other person feel bad or alone.
So, what happens?
You end up agreeing to more than you have the time, energy, or desire to accomplish. 
And that means you have no time, energy, or desire left to do the things you actually did want or need to do for yourself.

what happens when you say yes out of guilt?

When it’s time to actually follow through on whatever you’ve “yessed” your way into, the anxiety starts to build
Ugh, I don’t want to do this.
I’d so much rather be dealing with my own to-do list today.
This is going to make me rush to get to the next thing.

why don’t people listen to my “no”?

Even the times you do say no and try to have healthy boundaries, you still feel pressured to cave in and help out anyway.
You end up frustrated, maybe even saying yes when you know you really don’t mean it.
Basically, you just want to avoid the conflict.

11 ways to say no 

Dowload this free PDF to print and put somewhere you’ll see it.  
Practice using the phrases until they feel comfortable.
Then, try out your newfound superpower of healthy boundaries out in the real world.

find a therapist who helps with boundaries

The following therapists can help you grow more comfortable with holding healthy boundaries (and not feeling mean about it). Click on each therapist’s name to read more about schedules, rates, and other specialty areas.

Carolyn Robistow | Carla Litzsey